Celebrating Progress Over Perfection

Perfectionism is a struggle for many of us, including me, and celebrating progress can be challenging.

Unfortunately, my shame and guilt regularly smother the flames of success I work to cultivate.

Can you believe that I even had a therapist tell me once that my perfectionistic tendencies wouldn't allow me to become dependent on alcohol? HA! I still get a laugh at that one.

When I was drinking, I tried hard to portray myself as a perfect mom, wife, daughter, friend, and woman who managed many folks at her military job. I needed to control other pieces and parts of my life since I was admitting, slowly and reluctantly, that my drinking was out of control. 

When I stopped drinking, I tried to be perfect at that, too(as if there was such a thing). I needed to do it just like the others I followed, podcasts, and books told me. I treated it like any other part of my life that I needed to do just right. My goal was total abstinence, and any setback on that path felt like a complete failure. 

It took connecting with others on this journey to realize that all of my work, regardless of what it looked like, counted as progress. All of the times I reduced my drinking were progress. When I thought I was about to drink and didn't, that was progress. All of it was progress. I continually learned that perfection isn't the goal and that celebrating any attempt was my new objective. 

Progress can look like so many things. During a very trying time in my second year of sobriety, I brought a bottle to my lips and didn't drink. Although I didn't drink, I felt at that moment that I was a failure. The memory flashed red-hot all over me for weeks until I allowed myself to sit and dig deep at the reasoning behind my actions that day. I realized that I was hurting and scared, and at that moment, that bottle felt like the only relief. I'd been in this exact place too many times to think. Only this time, I hadn't taken that drink. I'd wanted to, but I stopped myself. I saw it as progress. 

Today, I celebrate all of my progress, whether small or mighty. I celebrate a hot shower, a day with a few glasses of water, an attempt at meditation, and a day (okay, maybe an hour) without yelling at my kids. Every progression is a gift. 

Here is a summary of a quote in the book The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown that has become a daily reminder for me: Yes, I am imperfect, vulnerable, and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.

With all of my heart, I hope you remember this too!

BONUS Resources on Celebrating Progress + Perfectionism

1. Listen to Beautiful Chorus Inner Peace  

2. Write out at least ten things you are proud of this week. Tip: try doing this in the morning before your ego wakes up! 

3. Check out Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown  

4. Here is a short guide with action steps on putting progress, not perfection, in play and how perfection may hurt your productivity. 

5. What is one thing you can try this week to let perfection fall away and perform without judgment? (write, paint, dance, garden, sing) 

6. Celebrate your progress! I'd love to hear what you are doing to celebrate everything you are practicing or trying in the comments below.